In the Enemy's Sights Page 12

  “I’m reserving judgment until I hear the whole thing.”

  He nodded, the corners of his mouth lifting. “Very fair of you. Well, I was down at the hospital wing site, doing a final check. When I came out, I found Jay outside.”

  “What was he doing there?” The hospital site was well outside Jay’s usual territory, and he didn’t drive.

  “He said he was looking for me. Trying to find out if you were okay after the accident.”

  “And you didn’t believe him.”

  “I didn’t say that.” He paused, as if assessing his reactions. “I think he probably did want to know about you. I figured it was an opportunity to find out if he knew about—” He paused, seeming to run out of words.

  “What?” What would put that hesitation in Ken’s voice? He always seemed so sure of himself.

  “The lightning symbol. I needed to find out if he knew the significance of that to you.”

  She could only stare at him for a moment. “Why does that matter?”

  He leaned toward her, elbows on his knees. “Think about it, Juli. That symbol was put on your computer deliberately. Either we have to believe in the very long arm of coincidence, or the person who put it there knew how much it would rattle you.”

  In the rush of events, she hadn’t even thought that through. She stared numbly at him. “I’ve really been stupid. I never thought of that.” A thought struck her. “You know about the symbol, and what it means to me.”

  “Your grandmother told me.”

  In its own way, that was rather astonishing. Her grandmother was one of the most private people she knew, especially when it came to outsiders. Why on earth would she share something like that with Ken? The only answer that occurred to her was one she didn’t want to explore.

  She rubbed her arms, suddenly chilled. “How did Jay react?”

  “As if I’d accused him of something.” He shook his head. “Don’t bother to yell at me. I should have been more tactful, I guess. But you must see that Jay keeps turning up. As far as I can tell, not many people know the significance of that symbol to you.”

  “No.” It was hardly something she went around talking about. “I suppose, to be honest, Jay might have heard talk about it at the pueblo. But I still can’t believe he’d set out to hurt me.”

  “I hope you’re right.” He leaned toward her, taking her cold hands in his. “But we have to find out the truth.”

  “I suppose you’re right.”

  She drew back. The grip of his hands, the nearness of him, was clouding her thinking. She needed to get a grip—on the effect he had on her and on the pounding in his head.

  “Look, I—I have a pot of coffee on. I could stand a cup. How about you?” Maybe the caffeine would help her think straight.

  “Sounds good.” He leaned back, making no attempt to go with her. Maybe he knew she needed a moment to herself. “Black, please.”

  She scurried back through the hall to the kitchen. Pulling the bottle of aspirin from the cabinet, she washed two tablets down with water. Then she poured coffee into mugs hand-painted with stylized animal figures, made by one of her grandmother’s friends. The familiar actions steadied her.

  It was ridiculous to let herself be rattled. If she hadn’t been so intent on blocking the memory of that symbol from her mind, she’d have realized the obvious for herself. It wouldn’t have had to come from Ken.

  Well, they’d think this through together. Ken was right about one thing. If Jay was involved, even innocently, in the things that had been happening, she had to know.

  She put the mugs on an enameled tray. Her stomach reminded her that she hadn’t eaten since lunch, so she quickly sliced into the fragrant lemon cake her grandmother had sent over. She arranged the slices on a plate and carried the whole thing back to the living room.

  Ken wasn’t there. For a moment she stood staring at the brown chair where he’d been sitting, and then she realized where he was. The lights were still on in the adjoining studio. He must have gone there.

  She set the tray on the side table and crossed quickly to the archway. She didn’t choose to share her painting with anyone. Ken didn’t have the right to intrude.

  She paused in the archway. Ken stood, as she’d known he must, directly in front of her easel, staring at the images she’d captured on canvas. He turned slowly to look at her.

  “This is…” he hesitated, as if searching for words, “very powerful. Will you tell me about it?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I don’t want—” Her throat tightened, her voice thickened.

  “Juli—” Ken took a step toward her, face concerned.

  Anguish ripped the words from her throat. “I can’t! Don’t you see? I can’t!”

  She put shaking hands to her face, appalled that she’d revealed her weakness to him. Hot, bitter tears scalded her. The swirling dark clouds she’d painted seemed to reach out from the canvas as they did in her dreams, as if they’d sweep around her and swallow her whole.

  TEN

  The anguish in Juli’s eyes cut Ken’s heart even more than the dark, tumultuous images on the canvas. For a moment he didn’t move, struck dumb by the sense that this was pain beyond anything he could help.

  But he couldn’t just stand by and watch. Help her, he murmured silently, able to pray for Juli even if he couldn’t pray for himself.

  “Juli.”

  Her palms covered her face, but silent tears dripped through her fingers. Her whole body shook with pain. Still, she made no sound.

  Pain twisted his heart. I don’t know what to do for her. Show me.

  Instinct told him she’d be better away from the troubling images she’d put on canvas. He put his arm around her and turned her toward the living room. If she resisted him he wasn’t sure what he’d do.

  But she moved where he led, docile as a child. He took her to the couch, sitting down beside her. For a moment he hesitated, but this wasn’t about what he might feel for Juli as a woman. This was about one human being comforting another. He put his arm around her and drew her close.

  She leaned into his shoulder as if hiding, her whole body shaking. He stroked her hair, her back, and sought for words to soothe her.

  “I know. I know. It’s all right. You’re safe.”

  Nothing very profound, but Juli didn’t need profound right now. She just needed to be held, to know someone cared about her. The words his mother used to use when he or Holly had scraped a knee or suffered a broken friendship worked as well as any.

  He couldn’t see his watch without moving, and he wouldn’t disturb her for anything, so he didn’t know how long they simply sat, holding each other. Whatever was hurting Juli, he’d guess this storm was a long time building.

  Finally the sobs lessened. Her body began to relax against his, her breathing to even out. At last she leaned against the sofa back, limp with exhaustion.

  He touched her cheek gently, wiping away the last traces of tears. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, but I think maybe you needed that.”

  She straightened, wiping her cheeks with both palms, gathering the remnants of her dignity around her. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. I never break down, especially not—”

  “In front of someone?”

  She nodded.

  “Maybe that’s a sign you need to talk about it. Maybe I’m not the person you’d choose, but I’m here and I’m ready to listen.” He was prodding, very gently. If she slid back behind her protective barriers again, she might never come out.

  She clasped her hands in her lap, staring down at them, her face guarded.

  He’d have to push harder. He wasn’t sure why he knew that was the thing to do, but the impulse was strong. He’d prayed, he realized with surprise. He’d asked for help. Maybe this instinct was the answer.

  “Tell me about the painting, Juli.”

  The way she winced told him that was the trigger.

  “Is it something you’ve actually seen?”r />
  “In nightmares,” the words burst out of her. “In my dreams for the past year.”

  He stroked her back gently. Someone—Michael, it was—had said that she’d had a bad time of it when her unit was deployed to Florida during the hurricanes. He studied the curve of her cheek. She wasn’t going to talk unless he forced it.

  “I heard you had a tough time a year ago,” he said carefully. “Is that where the dreams come from?”

  He felt her resistance, felt her straining away from him, struggling to keep the words inside. And he felt the moment when her resistance fell away, when the need to speak became stronger than the urge to hide. She drew in a shaky breath.

  “I thought I’d handled it.” She shook her head. “I’ve been to bad scenes before, some worse than that.”

  “Tell me.”

  She closed her eyes, but he suspected she saw it anyway, indelibly etched on her mind’s eye.

  “Angel and I went into a building collapse, looking for survivors.” Her shoulders moved slightly, as if shaking something off. “Angel had a scent—I knew it. I followed her in. We found—”

  She stopped, her breath rasping.

  “What did you find, Juli?” It had been bad, whatever it was.

  “A child. A little boy, trapped. I radioed the location. They were coming—I know they were. They dug like madmen. But he was pinned down. There must have been tons of debris over us. No way to get him out.”

  His hand moved in circles on her back, trying to absorb the pain. “You did your best. No one could do more.”

  “We couldn’t do it.” She looked at him then, her eyes dark caverns of grief and regret. “We couldn’t get him out. I was holding his hand, talking to him, when I knew he was gone.”

  The magnitude of it reached out and grabbed his heart, squeezing it in a vise. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “No. But I failed.”

  “You didn’t fail. You did everything that could be done. You stayed with him and comforted him at the risk of your own life.”

  She shrugged as if that weren’t important. “It wasn’t enough.” She took a breath, shaking her head a little. “I know. I know all the words. I’ve said them to other people. I thought I was coping. But then the dreams started. And the fear.”

  “It’s natural to be afraid.” He knew that, at least.

  “Not like this.” Her voice rasped. “When Angel and I go in—” She stopped, as if struggling to find the right words. “When Angel and I used to go in, I’d feel as if we were linked—as if we were one being, as if God guided us to where we needed to be. Now—I just don’t feel anything.”

  “You found my brother and Layla.” The thought of losing Michael made his voice rough. “You did what had to be done.”

  “Angel did it. Not me.”

  “Angel wouldn’t have done it without you.”

  “I don’t know. I just don’t have the confidence any longer. I don’t know if I can keep on doing it.” She swung to face him, her eyes wide and frightened. “What if I never get it back?”

  Her words pierced his heart. He knew what that black abyss felt like. What if he could never go back to flying?

  Juli was so courageous. He didn’t want her to bear this burden alone. But who was he to give anyone else advice when he was trapped by his own weakness?

  He had to say something. She was looking at him with such despair.

  “You will. You’ll get over this. You’re already working through the nightmares by painting them out. You’re going to be okay, I promise.”

  A thought struck him, illuminating the darkness like a lightning strike. Did Juli even realize that her painting could also be the image of her mother’s death?

  If she didn’t, he certainly wasn’t going to bring it up.

  He put his arm around her cautiously, ready to withdraw in an instant if she pulled away. But she turned toward him, relaxing against his shoulder with a small sigh.

  “Thank you,” she murmured, her voice muffled.

  What right did he have to be making promises that this would work out for her? None, probably.

  But he could hold her. He could brush a kiss against the smooth skin of her forehead and hold her close. Maybe that was enough for now.

  “I still say I don’t want you going in a place like that alone.” Ken said the words emphatically, and Juli could see that he wasn’t going to give up the argument easily.

  “We’ve already been through this.” She leaned forward, bracing her hand against the dashboard of the car Ken had borrowed from his mother as she scanned the sidewalks, hoping to spot Jay. “Jay is more likely to respond to me than to you right now. You agreed.”

  “That was before I saw what this part of town is like.”

  “It’s not the face Colorado Springs wants to show to the tourists, that’s for sure.”

  Ken was frowning. “I remember this as an older, poorer neighborhood, but a decent place for families. What happened to it?”

  “Drugs, I’m afraid. Your uncle’s cleanup had started to do some good, but since he’s been hospitalized it’s gone downhill again.”

  “The sooner Uncle Max gets back to work, the better. That deputy mayor of his seems afraid to do anything.” He glanced at her. “Anyway, that’s all the more reason why you shouldn’t go in that place alone.”

  “I won’t be alone. I’ll take Angel.” Hearing her name, Angel lifted her head from the backseat and gave a soft woof.

  “There’s the place.” Ken’s voice tightened as he nodded to a seedy-looking pool hall in the middle of the next block. “I still say—”

  “Please, Ken.” She turned toward him as he pulled to the curb. “I’m really worried about Jay. He’s so vulnerable right now. I’m afraid almost anything could push him under that gang’s control.”

  “Like my clumsy attempts to play detective, you mean?” He switched off the ignition.

  “It’s not your fault that Jay’s so sensitive. This world is just so different from the one he grew up in. His father loves him and means well. He moved here in the hope he could make enough to send Jay to college. But he’s working two jobs, and he just doesn’t have the time to spend with the boy.” She put her hand on his arm. “I’ll be careful.”

  “You’d better be.” He put his hand over hers and gripped it hard. “Because if you’re not out of that place in five minutes, I’m coming in.”

  “Deal.” She eyed the dingy glass, behind which dim figures moved. “Believe me, I’m not interested in staying any longer than I have to.”

  He released her hand reluctantly, it seemed. She slid out of the car and opened the rear door so that Angel could leap out. Quickly, before she could give in to second thoughts, she walked toward the pool hall door, which seemed to stand perpetually ajar.

  She paused for a moment once she’d stepped inside, letting her eyes adjust to the dim light. The room smelled of stale cigarette smoke and a few other aromas she declined to identify.

  The place wasn’t that crowded this early in the evening. Action and sound, which had stopped abruptly when she came in, resumed.

  Jay leaned against the wall at the rear of the room, apparently watching two older teens shooting pool. She walked straight to him, ignoring comments that flowed in her wake. Angel stuck to her heels.

  “Jay.”

  He straightened, dark eyes wary. “Juli. What are you doing here?”

  “Looking for you. We have to talk.”

  He fidgeted, not meeting her eyes. “Now’s not a good time.”

  “Seems like a very good time to me.” She touched his arm, finding it so tense it seemed to shoot sparks. “Come on.”

  “Hey, Nieto. Who’s your girlfriend?”

  The jeering voice came from one of the players. He turned away from the table to face them, and Juli’s mouth went dry. She didn’t need an introduction to know this must be Theo Crale.

  Jay seemed frozen in place, like a rabbit hypnotized by a snake.

 
Snake. The word sent an inner shudder through her. That was what Crale reminded her of. A dangerous snake.

  She wouldn’t let him think he intimidated her. “I’m Julianna Red Feather. Who are you?”

  “Ju-li-anna.” He mocked her, spinning her name out with a sensual air. “Well, hey, pretty Julianna, come here and I’ll show you how to play.”

  Snickers came from the others. Jay blinked. “Leave her alone. Go on, Juli. Get out of here.”

  “You get out, Nieto. Your pretty friend stays.” He reached toward her.

  She tensed, hand tight on Angel’s ruff, feeling the low growl start in the dog’s throat.

  She held her breath. She wasn’t afraid for herself, not with Angel at her side and Ken just outside. But Jay—

  Jay knocked Crale’s hand away. “I said, leave her alone!”

  Like a snake striking, Crale grabbed Jay’s shirt, fist pulling back. “You sure you want to interfere, stupid?”

  Jay glared back at him. “You’re the stupid one if you plan to take on Juli Red Feather. That dog will tear you to pieces.”

  Angel had never attacked anyone in her life, but Crale didn’t know that. Juli loosened her grip on the collar slightly. Angel lunged forward, baring her teeth.

  Crale stumbled back a step, bumping into the table. Encouraged, Angel barked at him.

  “Quiet, Angel.” She looked at Jay, pride welling in her at the boy’s response. “Shall we get out of here?”

  “That’s right, get out,” Crale snarled. “Don’t come around anymore, Nieto. You’re not wanted.” He added a few words Juli decided she’d rather not hear.

  “Fine by me,” Jay said. Holding Juli’s arm, he steered her through the silent bystanders toward the door.

  When they reached it, they found Ken waiting. Juli lifted her eyebrows. “It hasn’t been five minutes, has it?”

  “It seemed like a year, but I guess I didn’t need to worry about you, not with Angel and Jay to protect you.” He put his hand on Jay’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’ll buy you both supper.”

  If Jay hesitated, it was only for an instant. His shy smile lit his face. “Can we get pizza?”