Naomi’s Christmas Page 20

  Leah clinked her spoon against her saucer. “Attention, please. It’s time for our presents. Remember, no guessing who gave what until they are all opened.”

  The gift exchange was a little ritual they had enjoyed every year since the first time they’d met. In theory, you didn’t know who had drawn your name, but in such a small group it wasn’t hard to guess, especially once you saw the gift.

  Naomi had pulled Rachel’s name at the last meeting, and it had taken a bit of thinking to come up with something different. But Rachel, who was well-known for her greenhouses, would surely like the packets of heritage seeds Naomi had sent away for. They were all for varieties of vegetables or flowers that were seldom seen these days, and if anyone could grow them, Rachel could.

  The gifts were opened amid laughter and squeals as they acted like the girls they’d once been. When they left, they’d all go back to being mature wives and mothers, but for a time this afternoon they were young again together.

  Naomi’s gift was a set of beautifully hand-quilted place mats, and it wasn’t hard to figure out that Myra, a devoted quilter, had probably made them. Once all the gifts were opened, each person held up her gift and the giver identified herself. Sure enough, hers was from Myra.

  Naomi turned from hugging Myra to be enveloped in a huge hug from Rachel. “Clever Naomi,” she whispered. “You knew exactly what I’d love. I’ll bring you the first ripe heritage tomato.”

  Mary Ann and Elizabeth Yoder, who were married to brothers, were laughing together over the fact that they’d gotten each other exactly the same thing—a quilted teapot cover. The two of them really seemed to have tastes in common.

  In a moment Leah was coming around with the coffeepot again, and the group settled down for the talking and laughing that was always the best part of their Christmas lunch. There had been a time when Naomi and Leah were the single ones, listening to everyone else talk about their kinder.

  Then Leah had married, acquiring Daniel’s three young ones and having her little Rachel Anna, and Naomi had been left the only maidal.

  At least now she had Sadie and Joshua to talk about, and her story of the children telling their Christmas wishes to the bees brought on laughter and maybe a tear or two. After all, Ada had been a key part of their group for years.

  “I hope the young ones weren’t too upset by Emma’s fall,” Myra said, her gentle face going solemn. “That would be frightening for a child.”

  “I think they feel better since they’ve visited Emma at the rehab center. She looked like herself again and was so happy to see them that maybe it wiped away the scariness.”

  “That’s gut to hear,” Mary Ann said. “And I know you’ve been keeping them too busy to brood about it.”

  “Busy kinder are happy kinder.” Leah voiced the common Amish belief.

  And she was right, Naomi had found. Children who had no responsibilities and nothing to occupy them seemed to get lost. If Nathan had begun to see that he needed to allow Joshua some responsibility, she had done something good.

  “You are so gut for those kinder,” Myra said. “When you are really their mamm—” She stopped, turning pink. “I…I mean—”

  Naomi struggled to understand. Why would Myra think such a thing? She glanced around the circle of faces and realized to her shock that Myra wasn’t the only one.

  “You all think Nathan and I will wed? But that’s ridiculous.”

  “Naomi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to speak.” Myra looked on the verge of tears. No one who knew gentle Myra could think she’d intended to spread gossip or to hurt Naomi.

  “It’s all right.” She tried to keep her voice calm despite the fact that she was shaking inside.

  “Ach, we might as well confess. We were talking about it before you came in.” Rachel smiled ruefully. “But it’s only natural, isn’t it? We know you love those kinder. And we love you. We want you to be happy.”

  “Ja, I love them,” Naomi said carefully. “I love taking care of them. But that doesn’t mean either Nathan or I have thought of marriage.” Nathan never would, she thought, her heart clutching.

  “Don’t be hurt by our chatter,” Leah said, reaching out to pat her hand. “We think about how much you missed, taking care of your brothers and sisters all those years. As Rachel said, we want you to be happy.”

  Naomi had been foolish not to realize some might think her taking care of Nathan’s children would lead to marriage. Not maliciously, the way Jessie thought it, but with kind hearts and good intentions. Maybe she’d known what people were thinking and just didn’t want to admit it to herself.

  “It does seem like the perfect solution,” Lovina said, with a wistful look that one seldom saw on her capable face. “Then Daad Sam would stop trying to make you move in with us.” She stopped, looking a little flustered. “Not that you wouldn’t always be wilkom…”

  “Lovina Esch!” Naomi stared at her sister-in-law, unable to repress a smile. “You don’t want me to move in and take care of your kinder after all, ain’t so?”

  Lovina looked at her for a moment, eyes wide, and then suddenly they were both laughing helplessly.

  “I’m sorry.” Lovina mopped at her eyes. “It’s just…you know how your daad is, and sometimes Elijah is chust as bad. It never occurs to them that I might want to raise my own kinder. But you would always be wilkom…”

  “Ach, Lovina, don’t say it, or you’ll start me laughing again.” Naomi realized the others were watching them with expressions ranging from amused to perplexed. “I love you like a sister, but I don’t want to live with you. And I know you feel the same way. So why didn’t you tell Daad and Elijah that at the very beginning?”

  Lovina’s cheeks turned pink, but she didn’t answer.

  She didn’t need to. Naomi knew. Lovina, like the rest of the family, relied on Naomi to deal with Daad for them, only this was one time when it seemed she’d failed.

  Daad’s farm was only a short detour on Naomi’s route back to Nathan’s house. Plucking up her courage, she turned the mare down the lane.

  Bishop Mose had been right. She had to try again to make peace with Daad. She couldn’t put it off any longer, hoping for some miracle. If she really was the adult woman she claimed to be, she would make the effort.

  The mare, sensing familiar territory, quickened her pace, and soon they turned into the narrow road that led to the house and barns. The fields still wore a blanket of white from the weekend’s snow, but the lane was bare, beginning to freeze into winter’s ruts.

  The animals were in, which no doubt meant that Daad was at the barn or the milking shed. Naomi bypassed the house, driving to the barn and stopping at the hitching post.

  A few quick steps took her to the open barn door, where a shaft of watery sunlight made patterns on the heavy plank floor. One of the stall doors was open. Bessie, the oldest of the workhorses, stood patiently while Daad knelt, applying fomentations to her off foreleg.

  Naomi moved into the stall, stroking the horse’s neck, and Bessie whickered in recognition. “Problems?”

  Daad grunted, not turning from his task. “Cold weather’s hard on her anymore. I noticed this foreleg swelling up a bit last night. Ach, well, she’s getting old.”

  “Poor old girl.” Naomi smoothed her hand over the velvety muzzle. “Daad will make it better.”

  The words sent a pang to her heart. Everyone knew how much patience and care Sam Esch had for his animals. She sometimes wished he’d had the same patience for his children.

  “Ja, I’m not ready to give up on the old girl yet.” Daad rose, running his hand up the fetlock. He shot Naomi a glance before bending again to check the mare’s other legs. “You are here to talk to me, ja?”

  At least his temper wasn’t flaring at the sight of her. “I don’t want to be at odds with you, Daadi. Can’t we make up this quarrel between us?”

  He didn’t respond immediately, but Naomi thought she saw a bit of softening in the quick glance he sent her w
ay. Then he bent again to check the poultice.

  “I’ve heard some talk.” His voice was a bit muffled by his position. “It seems some folks are thinking that Nathan might want to marry you.”

  Naomi’s heart sank. It would have been too much to hope that Daad wouldn’t get wind of what seemed to be a common assumption.

  “I wouldn’t have thought it myself,” Daad said. “But if so, well, a marriage like that could be a gut thing.” He straightened, facing her. “So I’m asking you, daughter. Is it true?”

  Her stomach clenched, making her regret that piece of pumpkin cheesecake. She had to say what she felt sure was true.

  “I know some people have been wondering, and I’m sorry. But I’m sure Nathan hasn’t thought of such a thing.” To her surprise, her voice stayed steady.

  “No?” Daad’s eyebrows drew down over his eyes. “Then he is exposing you to gossip and making you a laughingstock.” His voice rose a little, and she recognized the signs. Daad was working himself into a fit of anger, and when he was angry, there was no chance he’d listen to reason. Still, she had to try.

  “Folks will soon stop talking when they realize there’s nothing to it. I am working for him, taking care of the kinder. That’s all.”

  “That’s not all.” Daad’s face reddened. “Do you think I want folks talking about one of my daughters that way? You must stop this nonsense and move in with Elijah and Lovina immediately.”

  There they were, back at the same sticking point. If only Lovina would speak up for herself—

  “Daad, have you even considered that Elijah and Lovina might not want me moving in to take care of their kinder? Maybe Lovina doesn’t want to spend her days working in the store.” That was as close as she would go to betraying what was in Lovina’s heart.

  Daad brushed her words away with a sweep of his hand. “Nonsense,” he said again, his gaze furious. “Never did I think you would be so willful, Naomi. If you will not do what I think best, I have nothing else to say to you.” He turned his back.

  Naomi reached out, nearly touching him. Her throat was tight with pain. “I’m sorry you are disappointed in me,” she murmured.

  She slipped out of the stall and went quickly outside. Her vision blurring with tears she didn’t want to shed, she unclipped the mare from the hitching post and climbed up to the seat.

  She had done what she could. She had not returned anger with anger. As Bishop Mose had said, if Daad could not forgive, the burden was on him. But if that was the case, why did her heart feel so heavy?

  She’d nearly reached the farmhouse when she realized that Betty had come outside and was standing by the lane, clutching a heavy black sweater around her shoulders. Steeling herself for more recriminations, Naomi drew to a stop.

  “You have been talking to your daad,” Betty said, not bothering with pleasantries. “How did it go?”

  “Not well.” Naomi kept her tone guarded. Whatever she said to Betty might well be repeated to her father.

  Betty shook her head. “I feared as much.” She put her hand on the buggy, as if to keep Naomi from driving off before she’d had her say. “I must tell you that I am sorry for how things ended between us the day you came to the house. I never meant…” She stopped, shook her head. “Ach, I’m sure you know that what I said was your father’s idea. I didn’t want to get involved in it at all, but you know what he’s like when he gets an idea in his head.”

  She did, but she would think that a newlywed like Betty could figure out a way to manage Daad. She reminded herself that she was out to mend fences today, not to erect them.

  “It’s all right, Betty. I’m not blaming you for this difficulty with Daad.”

  “Gut.” Betty gave a sharp nod. “I am maybe the one person in the family who understands what you are feeling. After all, I lived on my own for a number of years.”

  Naomi nodded, cautious. She hadn’t expected this overture of friendship from Betty, and she feared it would end in the same way the last one had, with a plea that she do what her father wanted.

  “You were a widow, and people look at widows differently than maidals. Daad thinks he knows best for me.”

  “Your daad is a stubborn man,” Betty declared. “Believe me, I thought long and hard about it before I agreed to marry him.” She shrugged. “You’re not going to find the perfect man, any more than you can find the perfect house or the perfect buggy horse. You just have to make the best decision you can.”

  That was the most honesty Naomi had ever heard from Betty, and it took her aback. “That’s probably true, but I’m not sure why you’re saying it to me.”

  Betty eyed her shrewdly. “Because you and I are more alike than you realize, Naomi. I will not go openly against your father’s wishes, but I will do what I can to soften his heart toward you.”

  “Denke, Betty.” She didn’t think they were alike at all, but she would take help where she could get it.

  Betty’s tight mouth softened in a slight smile. “It is for my sake as well. Your daad is not comfortable to live with when he is in a rage.”

  Naomi nodded. That she could understand. She picked up the lines, thinking the conversation was at an end.

  But Betty seemed to have one more thing to say, even as she stepped back from the buggy. “Remember what I said, Naomi. You’ll never find the perfect husband, but if the chance arises, make sure you weigh the pros and cons before you answer.”

  In other words, Betty was among those who thought Naomi’s job with Nathan could eventually lead to marriage. And she was bluntly advising her to weigh the advantages carefully.

  She nodded and clicked to the mare, one thing clear in her mind. She would not choose as Betty had. She would not marry, even if the chance came, unless she could marry for love.

  Nathan tucked the covers around Joshua, who had been unusually talkative at bedtime that night. “Time to stop the chatter and get to sleep.”

  He glanced at Sadie, who was most often the guilty party when it came to talking instead of sleeping, but her eyes were already drooping.

  “But, Daadi, there is one more thing I wanted to talk to you about.” Joshua clung to his sleeve. “Please.”

  “All right. One more thing.” He sat on the edge of the bed. He probably shouldn’t let Joshua prolong his bedtime this way, but these moments spent tucking the children in each night were precious to him. “What is it?”

  “Sadie and me want to buy a present for Naomi for Christmas. Will you help us?”

  “Don’t you think Naomi would like to have something you made?”

  But Joshua was already shaking his head. “She sees all the things we make. She teaches us how to do them. We want to give her something that would be a big surprise.” Joshua’s eyes shone. “Isn’t that a gut idea, Daadi?”

  “Well, ja, I think it probably is a fine idea.” Joshua had obviously put a lot of thought into the subject. “I’ll tell you what. Next time you and Sadie go with Naomi to get groceries in town, I’ll go along. We’ll find some excuse to get away from Naomi, and I’ll help you pick out a present for her. Is that all right?”

  Joshua, normally so undemonstrative, actually put his arms around him in a hug. “That’s perfect, Daadi. Denke.”

  Nathan squeezed him, relishing the feel of his son’s sturdy body. “Now you must go to sleep. You can dream about finding just the right present to show Naomi you love her.”

  He tucked Joshua in again, kissed his forehead, and turned to Sadie. She was already asleep, snuggled into her pillow with one hand curled against her cheek. Smiling, he dropped a kiss on her head and went softly out of the room.

  He found he was still smiling as he went down the stairs. Joshua was growing and changing, almost in front of his eyes. Sadie seemed to be changing as well, becoming less like a baby and more like a little girl. Naomi had a positive effect on all of them, it seemed.

  He could hear Naomi rustling around in the kitchen as he reached the bottom step. The greens she and the
children had arranged on the mantel and the windowsills made the living room look festive.

  Now that Naomi lived so close, she stayed later, cleaning up the kitchen while he put the children to bed. It was comfortable, coming back downstairs to find her still there, busy about some task. It was almost like having a whole family again.

  When he walked in, Naomi was gathering up some papers on the table. She looked up, smiling, when she heard him. “I was just getting ready to go. I’ll put these away first.”

  “What is it?” He thought at first the papers were something of the children’s, but on a closer look he saw that it was Naomi’s writing. She seemed to have been drawing something. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry into what you were doing. I thought it was some paper of Joshua’s.”

  “It’s not a secret.” She turned the papers to show him, bending over the table and frowning at them. “I was trying to put together some sort of a label to go on the honey jars that I have for sale. Right now they just have a handwritten tag that says honey.” She shook her head. “I guess I’m not much of a businesswoman.”

  “You’re just starting out. You’re not supposed to know everything about running a business at first.” He sat down, pulling the papers toward him. “Maybe another opinion will help you decide.”

  Naomi sat down next to him. “I’d sure be glad of it.” She fanned the papers out. “I’m not much of an artist, either. Maybe I ought to stick with what I have and be done with it.”

  She had been doodling, it looked like, trying out different versions of words and designs that might go on the front of a jar. Some said Clover Honey, others Pure Clover Honey, another one Naomi’s Honey.

  Nathan put his finger down on the last of those. “I think you should use your name. After all, the honey comes from your bees, and you are the one who processes it.”

  She looked up, her face a little troubled. “You don’t think it would be seen as prideful?”

  Being prideful was just about the worst accusation one could make about an Amish person, all of whom were trained to humility from birth. He could understand the idea troubling Naomi, especially now, with folks talking about the conflict with her father.