The Amish Widow's Heart Read online

  “Yah, I’ll be glad to, Mrs. Warren.”

  “Good.” She darted a curious glance at Beth before moving on to look at the bread case.

  “There’s your answer, ain’t so?” Daniel smiled. “If you need any more help to pick, I can send my nephew over.”

  “Denke, but my daad is coming with some of the young ones.”

  “Your daad will get the job done fast. I remember what he was like when we all helped your onkel to do it. He’s not one to take excuses.”

  She actually tried to smile at that. “He’s still the same. He’s watching Benjy right now so I could come over.”

  “Whether you wanted to or not,” he finished for her.

  “You did say we needed to talk about the store, ain’t so?”

  He touched her arm lightly and gestured. “Let’s go to the back room. There should be coffee on.” He raised his voice. “Anna?”

  Anna Fisher, their sixteen-year-old clerk, sidled in from the storeroom and stopped. Shy, he supposed, at the sight of the new widow. Like everyone, she’d been shocked by James’s death.

  “Take charge for a few minutes. We’ll be in the back, talking.”

  She nodded, moving behind the counter without wasting a word. He’d been doubtful at first that someone so shy would be successful as a clerk, but she’d surprised him. He was thankful for her now, with James no longer here to help.

  Leading the way, he took Beth to the room that served as a combination office and break room. Sure enough, there was coffee staying warm on the small gas stove. While he got out cups and spoons, his mind worked busily, trying to figure out the best approach to this conversation. If he had his way, Beth would come in as a partner, and together they’d keep the store going as it was. But that might not be Beth’s idea of a future.

  He turned to the table, sitting down across from her as he put the coffee mugs in place. “How are you, Bethy?” The childhood nickname had come up without his thinking about it, but it actually made her face lighten a little.

  “All right, I guess.” But then her expression closed down again, negating her words. It made him want to grasp her hand, the way he’d have done when they were children and something had frightened her.

  But he couldn’t, of course. They were grown-ups now, and Beth was the widow of his best friend. He would help her in any way he could while still respecting her position.

  Daniel cleared his throat, trying to find the way forward. “I... I hoped you might have made some decision about the store.”

  “Daadi said something about that, too.” Beth ran her hand across her forehead, as if brushing away cobwebs. “I’m being stupid, I guess. James never talked about business with me. I don’t even know how I stand and whether I have enough to support my son.”

  The thread of what might be anger in her voice startled him. He’d never heard her say anything critical about James. He must be mistaken. Beth had always adored James.

  He’d have to assure her as best he could. “You needn’t worry about supporting Benjy. You own half the business now, and we’re doing pretty well. And you own the house and the orchard free and clear, ain’t so?”

  She nodded, her expression easing. “Yah, you’re right. Onkel Isaac made it easy for us to buy. He was wonderful gut to me.”

  “Your uncle was a fine man, and a gut neighbor, as well.” Little Beth had been his favorite among his many nieces and nephews, so it wasn’t surprising that he’d wanted to protect her. “You want to stay where you are, then?”

  “Yah, for sure. I never thought of anything else.” She glanced up at him, a question in her green eyes. “As for the store...well, what else can we do but carry on as we are?”

  It was tempting just to agree, but Beth ought to consider her options before she came to a decision.

  “You do have other choices. If we go ahead as we are, we might have to hire another helper. Or you could come in and help. Even a few hours a week might be enough.” He took a breath. “Or you might want to sell your share of the store.”

  There, it was out. If she did want to sell, he’d have no choice but to make the best of it.

  “Sell?” She’d obviously never considered it. “Do you mean you want to buy my share?”

  “No.” Daniel couldn’t get the word out fast enough, and it startled him. He hadn’t realized he felt so strongly about it. “I mean, I’m afraid I couldn’t afford it, not yet, anyway. But even if I could...” He struggled to articulate what he felt about the store.

  “James and I took a risk when we started this place, but it’s paid off. We liked working together. I guess now I’d like to think of Benjy growing up and becoming my partner, working beside me.” He seemed to see the boy grown up, with his mother’s sweetness and loving heart as well as his father’s laughter and charm. “The store is his legacy from his father, ain’t so?”

  At his words, an expression he couldn’t begin to interpret crossed Beth’s face. He’d known her most of their lives, but he’d never seen her look like that before.

  It was gone again, leaving him feeling disturbed without knowing why. “What do you think?”

  Beth was silent for a moment, her gaze seeming fixed on something he couldn’t see. Then she let out a long breath. “For now, I’d like to go on the way we are. But maybe that’s not fair to you. James isn’t here to do his share of the work, so we can’t take his share of the profits. It wouldn’t be right.”

  He hadn’t expected that, and maybe he should have. Beth, for all her softness, had a strong sense of what was right.

  “We can work that out,” he said. “Like I said, we could hire someone else. Or you might want to spend some time helping out, ain’t so?”

  He could see how that idea shook her, could anticipate the instant refusal coming.

  “I... I can’t. I’ve never done anything like that. And anyway, I can’t leave Benjy.”

  Again, he had that longing to reach out and take her hand. “Not full-time, no. But why don’t you come in for a few hours a day? You can bring Benjy with you. He’d enjoy it.”

  “I don’t know...”

  He sensed her considering it and pressed his advantage. “It makes sense, Beth. You ought to see the operation for yourself. Maybe look over the books and get a little understanding of how it works. It’s part yours now, yah?”

  She rose, and he stood up with her. It looked as if she’d leave without a decision, but then she nodded. “I can’t promise more, but I’ll come in one day. Not tomorrow, but soon.”

  He’d have to be content with that for now. But he for sure wanted to know what was behind her reluctance.

  * * *

  The next afternoon Beth stood in the driveway, waving as her father’s horse-drawn wagon reached the main road and turned in at the store. The apple-picking had been enjoyed by all the young cousins. She’d been expecting someone to fall out of a tree, but Daad had kept a stern eye on his grandchildren, so there’d been no horseplay.

  Each of them had taken a small basket home with them. They’d stopped at the store to deliver ten peck baskets of apples. There’d be more in a few days, but she’d wait to see how the first ones sold. She didn’t want to burden Daniel with anything he couldn’t sell.

  She was starting toward the back door when she saw a buggy turn into the drive. Company for her? She gave her skirt a quick shake, hoping she didn’t have any leaves or twigs caught in her clothes. Then she recognized Lydia, so she smiled and waved, walking to the driveway to meet her cousin.

  “How nice. I’m having lots of company today.” She fastened the line to the hitching post. “Wilkom, Lydia.”

  Lydia gave her a quick hug and stood back for a moment, scanning her face. She gave an approving nod. “You look better today. Gut!”

  “Always better for seeing you.” They linked arms as they walked into the house. “Tea o
r coffee?” She usually preferred tea in the afternoon, but sometimes Lydia liked coffee. “I have a pot I made for Daad.”

  “Coffee, then.” She took the chair she usually sat in for their afternoon break. “I saw your daad at the store. Looked as if they were unloading apples.”

  “Yah, we did the first picking of the early apples. I’ll put some in a basket for you to take home. Tell your mamm they’re Honeycrisp.”

  “I’ll do that. Denke.” She took the mug of coffee Beth handed her. “All right, tell me. Why are you looking better today?”

  Beth shrugged, taking her seat. “I’m not sure. Just being busier helps, I guess. The apple-picking today, and yesterday I went to the store to talk to Daniel.” She frowned a little at the thought of what she’d promised. “What about you? Have you been working a lot?”

  Lydia nodded, making a face. “Waitressing at the coffee shop isn’t a very challenging job. Sometimes I wish the regulars would order something different, just for a change.”

  “Why should they? You have the same thing every day for breakfast at home, don’t you?”

  “That’s different. I have whatever Mamm cooks. If I had my way, I’d fix something different every day.”

  Beth couldn’t help but smile. Lydia always claimed to long for something different, but she went on in the usual Amish routine all the same.

  “Laughing at me?” Lydia said. “Ach, I deserve it. I should be ashamed to complain. Never mind that, anyway. Tell me what Daniel wanted.”

  Now it was her turn to grimace. “Everyone keeps pushing me to make some decisions about the store, and I can’t think of anything but...well, you know.”

  “Yah, I know.” Lydia reached across the table to clasp her hand. “Did anything new come to light?”

  “No. I asked Daniel where James was going that last night, but he didn’t know.”

  “You think he was meeting that woman, whoever she was? It might not be that at all.”

  “Then what was he doing out on Owl Hollow Road?”

  Lydia didn’t have an answer to that. After a moment she countered with another question. “What exactly did Daniel say?”

  She rubbed the tense muscles in the back of her neck. “He said they’d been working on something in the store, and when they were about finished, James went out first. I guess he thought James was just going home.”

  “So James didn’t say anything to him.”

  Was there doubt in Lydia’s voice? She couldn’t be sure. But Daniel wouldn’t lie to her. “If he’d known where James was going, he’d have told me.” She clenched her teaspoon so hard her fingers stung. “Now I’m supposed to take over our share of the store, and I don’t know a thing about it.”

  Lydia glanced down at the liquid in her mug, as if mulling something over. “I was always a little surprised that you didn’t help out in the store sometimes, especially once Benjy wasn’t a baby anymore.”

  “That’s the way James wanted it. He said I had enough to do with Benjy, the house, the garden and the orchard. I never questioned it.”

  She’d grown so used to the fact that she’d never really wondered about it. Plenty of women with families helped out in the family business.

  “It would be easier now if you had been more involved, but I don’t suppose James envisioned a time when he wouldn’t be there.” Lydia glanced at her, as if to be sure her words hadn’t hurt.

  “Yah, it would be. I don’t believe James ever considered the need. After all, his mother never did work outside the home, and she just had the one child and the little house in town.”

  Lydia’s dimples showed at the mention of Beth’s mother-in-law. “It’s certain sure Sarah Esch never thought of anything on her own. I’ve never seen a woman so...so passive in my life.”

  Beth had to suppress a smile. “Sarah is like a soft, fluffy pillow you can push into any shape.” Fearing that sounded critical, she hurried on. “But she’s a wonderful, sweet mother-in-law.”

  “I guess.” She hesitated. “Pillows are all very well to rest on, but they don’t help you get anything done. And she always doted on James. Spoiled him, some folks say.”

  “He was all she had.” Beth felt compelled to defend her mother-in-law, but it was true that Sarah’s fluttering over James and then over Benjy drove her wild sometimes. “She’s another person who can never know the truth.”

  “I guess not. But I just wish you didn’t have to carry this burden all alone.”

  “I have you,” Beth said softly. “Denke.”

  Lydia wiped her eyes and then chuckled. “We’d best find something else to talk about before we’re both crying. So what are you going to do about the store now?”

  “Daniel has this idea that I should start going in for a few hours a day. That way at least I can learn something about the business, but—”

  “But what? It sounds like a gut idea to me,” Lydia said. “Unless you’re thinking to sell your share?”

  “Daniel said something about the store being Benjy’s legacy from his father, and it’s true. If I sell, we’d have the money, but money isn’t everything. Benjy wouldn’t have the store.”

  “You don’t have to decide right away, do you? Why not try Daniel’s suggestion?” Lydia was practical, as always. “Maybe you’ll find a way to be a real partner in the business.”

  The very thought sent a shiver through her. “I don’t know that I can.”

  “Why not?” Lydia’s voice was brisk. “You’re smart, and you’re a hard worker. And you don’t want to turn into a fluffy pillow, ain’t so?”

  Halfway between laughing and crying, Beth threw a napkin at her. “All right. Don’t be so bossy. I’ll try. I’ll go in and see what it’s like, but that’s all.”

  “Tomorrow,” Lydia said firmly.

  Beth wished she had another napkin to throw. “Tomorrow. I promise.”

  She just hoped she wouldn’t regret it.

  Chapter Three

  For Beth, the walk down the driveway to the store the next day went too quickly. She’d agreed to spend the morning learning about the store, but that didn’t mean she wanted to become part of it. Maybe she and Daniel could figure out some other way...

  “Hurry up, Mammi.” Benjy, in a rush as always, tugged at her hand. “I want to see what we’re going to do at the store.”

  “I told you, remember? I must learn how the store works. And you have your jigsaw puzzle to work on and your farm animals to play with.”

  “Can’t I help? Please?” He looked up at her, his bright blue eyes, so like his father’s, pleading.

  She had to guard against the temptation to give in when he looked at her that way. “You’ll have plenty of time to work when you’re older. Komm, let’s go in.”

  Despite her words, she was the one who hesitated as they neared the glass door at the front of the cinder block building. She remembered the good-natured arguments between James and Daniel when they planned the store. Daniel had been cautious, thinking it should be smaller, but James had laughed at him, saying he should have more confidence in their success. In the end, James had prevailed, as he so often did.

  But he’d been proved right, hadn’t he? The store was a success. Grasping Benjy firmly by the hand, she pushed the door and stepped inside.

  Daniel came forward immediately, smiling in welcome. “Ach, Beth, wilkom. And you, Benjy.” He gestured, and the other two people in the store came forward. “You remember Anna Fisher, don’t you? She’s been working for us for about a year.”

  The teenager gave Beth a quick glance before lowering her eyes again. Given how shy Anna was, it wondered Beth that she could wait on customers, but from what James had said about her, Anna was a conscientious worker.

  “It’s gut to see you again, Anna. I understand the store couldn’t get along without you.”

  A flush brigh
tened the girl’s pale cheeks. “Denke,” she murmured.

  Poor child. Everyone knew what a disagreeable person Hiram Fisher was, and Beth didn’t imagine he was any better with his daughter. No wonder the girl looked as if she’d wilt at a sharp word.

  Thinking Anna would relax once the attention was off her, Beth turned to the third person, who waited next to Daniel.

  “This is one of your nephews, ain’t so? Timothy, right?”

  The boy grinned, his blue eyes dancing. He must be about fourteen or fifteen to be out of school, but he looked younger with that mischievous grin and the freckles that dotted his nose.

  “Yah, Timothy, that’s me.”

  “My brother Seth’s oldest,” Daniel added. “He’s been helping us out since...for the last few weeks.”

  Since James died, he meant. She’d have to convince them that they didn’t need to fear mentioning him, even if it was difficult.

  “That’s wonderful gut of you, Timothy.”

  “Denke.” And then, as if it burst out of him, he added, “I really like it. Maybe I’ll have a business of my own one day.”

  Daniel reached out to ruffle his hair, smiling. “You’re a far distance from that just now, young Timothy. You have some stocking to do, ain’t so?”

  Nothing seemed to disturb Timothy’s grin. “Bossy,” he muttered, and drifted off. Anna took advantage of the opportunity to slip away as quietly as a mouse.

  Benjy tugged at Beth’s skirt. “Everybody is working, Mammi. I want to work, too.”

  “Not today.” She handed him the bag containing his toys. “We’ll find a place to set up your puzzle.”

  He took the bag but obviously had something else to say. “Grossdaadi said that one day part of the store would be mine. I should help.”

  “Not today, I said.” She was aware of Daniel listening and suspected he was disapproving.

  Benjy got his mulish look, but before he could say anything, Daniel intervened.